Sundays

Am I the only one that thinks Sundays are the best days? In preparation for the upcoming work week, you owe it to yourself to be a complete waste of life. This is usually how my Sundays go...

Wake up on Gio's couch to the TV blaring Sportscenter, making me wonder why anybody would watch TV with the volume so high... was there a deaf person here last night? My mouth feels like it's filled with chalk and tastes like a cat peed in it while I was sleeping. Gio, did you get a cat? I look around at the empty food wrappers on his table and remember the massive amounts of food I promised myself I wouldn't get. I seem to always break that promise.... the lures of pizza puffs and cheese fries from Mr. Gyro's is always calling my name at the end of the night. My contacts are so dry that I can barely blink and my head aches from whatever shitty $7 drinks I was drinking the night before. So then I check my pockets and find a receipt for $100. Um, did I buy shots for all of us last night? I seem to always do this, and without a doubt, I ALWAYS think to myself the next day, "What the fuck were you thinking?"

The train ride home is always funny. I'm usually still hung over as fuck so I'm not exactly looking like a million bucks on the train... I usually get looks from ppl on the train as if I was a bum and I don't blame them. My hair is always sticking up in the back and I know I wreak like the inside of CO's (r.i.p). I don't care though, cuz I just pass out... snoring and drooling drawing more dirty looks from the other passengers.

The highlight of my Sundays, though, is when I find my spot on my couch and turn on football. I'm like an immovable object at this point. NFL Sunday ticket was completely worth the absurd price I paid. Even though I have every single football game on TV in front of me, I always have my laptop in hand so I can keep track of my fantasy team and my bets. For the next 6 hours (12-6 pm) I go through a series of emotions that even a bipolar person would be surprised at. I scream at the TV when my teams play like shit, and I feel immense feelings of joy when something miraculous happens that results in me covering my bet by half a point. Without a doubt, there is no better feeling than that immediate satisfaction of squeaking out a close victory and covering your bet. That's the reason for gambling addictions. I wish I could bottle up that feeling and make it into a drug. Everyone knows that the best compliment to go with football on Sundays is Chinese food... and low and behold, I own a restaurant! Some people might call this heaven, but I just call it life.... Football and limitless Chinese food every Sunday.

By the time the afternoon games finish... I look around and think "holy shit, it's dark out already?" I have yet to move from my couch except to go to the bathroom or go get more food... The past weekend I had 11 missed calls cuz my phone was in my room and too far for me to move. So now that I've wasted most of my day, what do I do?

Well, I usually contemplate going to the gym. But think, dude, it's Sunday... you'll just make up for it tomorrow. This happens every week. I get dinner (usually more chinese food) and then wait, what's that? Oh, Sunday night football! Sweet... followed by all the good shows I missed throughout the day but that's why there was the beautiful invention of TiVo... whoever invented this thing should win a nobel prize for awesomeness. It made lazy people happy all over the world.

By the time this is all over, I settle into a depression that I have to go to work the next day. And everyone knows Mondays suck and I get the worst case of the Mondays ever. I just look forward to doing it all over again next Sunday...