Retro Fads

I’m the type of person that likes to follow trends, so if anything is “in” at the time, then I gotta have it. Blackberry? Check. Northface? Check. Mac? Check. You get the point.

I saw somebody wearing a pull over jacket today, which made me think of all the retro fads out there that were all the craze while I was growing up. If you didn’t have any of these in the 90’s, then you obviously weren’t cool. I had them all… which made me the shit.

Starter Pull Over Jackets- Who didn’t have a Starter pullover jacket while growing up? Not only exclusive to one gender, boys and girls alike were all sporting these awesome jackets circa 1993. These things were so throwback, every kid had to have one regardless the team. Everybody knew the team didn’t matter, but just the fact you had one and the brighter the colors, the better. I remember the day I walked to my bus stop sporting my new Charlotte Hornets pullover, I felt like the shit. That was until the other fag kid at my stop walked up with a Miami Dolphins one, I was pissed. I wanted to ask him who the fuck he thought he was… Mine was obviously cooler. That’s beside the point though… do you guys remember all the cool shit you could hide in those middle pouches? Those things could hold some much stuff! If I still had one today, I’d bring all my work necessities in my pouch. Pens? In the pouch. Book? In the pouch. Lunch? Oh yea, in the pouch. Bottom line… these jackets were the shit. Do you remember what team you had?

JNCO Jeans- When I was in 7th grade, all the craze was about the wide legged JNCO jeans. If you wanted to be cool and have girls like you, you had to have them. In fact, the wider the legs, the cooler the person. Trust me, I was always the coolest, no doubt. I remember begging my mom to buy me a pair… and at this time JNCO’s were not cheap by any means. We would go shopping and they were all I wanted... thinking back on it, if I were my mom I would have slapped the shit out of me and told me I was an idiot for wanting to have such ridiculous jeans. I didn’t know any better though… remember how big the back pockets were? What was the point for those any way? Or how people used to cut and fray the bottoms to make them even cooler? Oh yea, that was me. Then there were the kids whose parents wouldn’t spring the dough for real JNCO jeans and get the Lee Pipes instead. I used to laugh at those kids and make fun of them. Even worse, there were the PACO jeans, or as I like to think of them… the Mexican ripoff of JNCO. I made fun of these kids even more, cuz their jeans were named after a Mexican. These imitations weren’t nearly as wide as my JNCO’s, which meant they weren’t as cool as me. Again, if you didn’t wear JNCO’s, you were a loser.

K2 Skates- Along the same time as the JNCO fad, K2 skates were big when I was in 6th grade. Skating was the shit back then, and it didn’t matter if you sucked or not as long as you had the sickest skates. There were so many to choose from, the K2 Fatties, K2 Chocolates, K2 Varsities, etc. They even had those grind panels in the middle to make grinding easier! Sadly to say, I never had a pair of K2 skates cuz they were so expensive, but I was so jealous of my friends that did. I remember sitting at my friend Pat’s house while they waxed up the metal pole and tried and failed at tricks. It didn’t matter that the coolest trick they could do was a 2 second grind, they were the shit cuz they had K2’s.

POGS- Easily the dumbest fad on this list, these cardboard milk tops were HUGE back in the day. To this day, I still don’t know what the point of them was, but the actual game had to have been the lamest and most pointless game ever thought of… but you had to collect them all! I had over 500 POGS… what the fuck was I thinking?! Not to mention, you had to have the biggest and most bad ass Slammer as well, you know, the metal pieces that you used to slam the POGS and “win” your opponents. I remember mine, the 8 ball… so sick. The only 8 ball I’ve heard of these days don’t deal with pogs… I remember going to the mall and going to the POGs stand and spending ridiculous money. There were certain ones that cost like 20 bucks apiece… for a piece of cardboard with a picture on top! Some slammers cost like $50, too. Ridiculous. Here’s a website all about POGS that I found, but don’t waste your time.



DYNOs- These bikes were the shit back in the day… again, only the coolest kids had them. I didn’t only ride a DYNO, I had the DYNO GT. Siiiiick. I had pegs and all. These were the ultimate trick bikes, but the only thing was… I didn’t do tricks on them. I just had one cuz all the cool kids had them… and obviously I was cool. The losers had the imitation Haro’s… sorry Tim… but everyone knew those were 2nd class compared to the DYNOs. I’m pretty sure these bikes are still around and I may have seen kids riding them in college… not bad idea to be pegging girls home.

Slap Bracelets- These things were gay, but I just had to mention them because they were most certainly a fad. You know, the stupid elastic bands that would swivel up when you hit them on your wrist. Yea, I used to hate it when girls would come up to me and hit me with a cheetah print swatch watch or something gay like that… I’d want to punch them in the face. If you had one of these, which I know you did but will probably lie about it and say you didn’t, you were a loser.

Beanie Babies- Dumbest fad ever that overtook the entire world… seriously. Boys, girls, moms, grandparents, whoever had to have all the beanie babies. I remember they were $5 a pop at the stores in the mall, but you better believe that when the newest beanie baby came out, they’d be sold out. I had a shit load of beanie babies, and what did I do with them? Nothing. They sat on my shelf as a display before I threw them into a box and gave them to good will. Biggest waste of money ever! There was a point when beanie babies were worth a shit ton of money… oh yea, I had the Tabasco bull one, what’s up… but once that bubble popped, they just became worthless. It didn’t matter that you had the rarest of the beanie babies, that just meant you were the biggest retard… congratulations.



Collecting Cards- Children all over the world are still collecting cards, whether it’s baseball, basketball, football, pokemon, Yu-gi-oh, or whatever, one thing will hold true… it’s a waste of time and money. It’s one thing to have vintage Mickey Mantle cards, fine that’s legit I guess, but it’s another to have books of cards like I do that have absolute no value. I have so many basketball cards that I could fill an entire closet… Some of the books I have are alphabetically sorted by last name… man I was a loser. Some of my cards are in plastic encasing to keep them in mint condition… but too bad mint condition just means still worthless. I’m not sure if there are still card enthusiasts out there that put value to cards, but I’m pretty sure they will never be as big as they used to be when I was younger. I would go to card shows at the mall and admire all the cards on display, and whenever I got my allowance, I’d buy packs of cards. Just another waste of money for a stupid fad…