Not So Jolly

I've always thought that the fatter a person is, the more jolly they are. Afterall, that's the origin of the "jolly old fat man" that we all know and love during Christmas time. To me, fat people are like big Pillsbury doughboy's... they love to be poked in the stomach and give a little chuckle when you do it. This would be the scenario in the perfect world, but recently I have found out that's just not the case.

I know this post sounds extremely arrogant and mean, but I just want everyone to know I am extremely nice to fat people. I'm a little overweight myself. But I've had some bad experiences with fat people so as far as I'm concerned, you guys started it first.

First, a little background. In high school there was this kid... I won't name any names in case he some how stumbles upon my blog, I don't want any revenge directed my way (Billy Madison style)... this kid was fuckin giant and he was a huge douschebag. I would ask him to borrow a pencil because I forgot mine, and he would say no! Who says no?! Obviously this kid didn't like to share. He'd say it wasn't his fault I was irresponsible... and I remember looking at his oversized body fitting snug in those HS desks and thinking to myself, wow you are a fat asshole. He used to shove kids out of the way in the hall so his fat ass could fit through and would just be a giant prick, period.

But to present time, the other day I was running late for my train so I had to resort to the last seat next to this obese chick. She looked at me and told me I couldn't sit there... and I wanted to ask why the fuck not but in fear that she might eat me, I got up. She was a huge bitch to other people as well, not just me. She wasn't even saving the seat for anybody, her big ass just needed extra room. What a bitch. I had to take a picture of this chick... just look at her mean ass face while she's playing her Nintendo. If I didn't know any better I'd think there was food on that screen.