Friday, January 22, 2010

Stop Talking to Me

Today I went to the dentist. Unlike most people, I’m not afraid of the dentist. Sure, it sucks at times so I just want her to do her shit as fast as she can so I can leave with pearly whites. Nothing bothers me more than when my dentist tries to make small talk with me while she drilling in my mouth. She asks me all sorts of questions like “what was your major in school?” or “what are your plans for the weekend?” I always wonder to myself, is she serious?! I want to tell her to shut the fuck up. These are not simple yes or no answers, so I wonder how the hell she expects me answer these questions with a fucking drill in my mouth. To avoid awkwardness, sometimes I attempt to answer only to get muffled sounds out before I just flat out give up. Stupid dentist. I now hate you.

Same goes for the barber. Sure, I’ll make small talk as she gives me a trim, but I want to slap the barber when she tries to talk to me while she’s shaping my sideburns or around the edges. I’m always so nervous that if I speak, then I might move my head and cause her to fuck up. Why would she ask me so many questions at such a crucial time?! One slip up and I’ll look like an asshole. This is usual a moment of serious awkwardness… as she asks me a question and I just stare at her in the mirror as she trims the back of my head. I hope hse doesn’t take this personal, I just don’t want to look like a freak.

Anybody else hate this too?

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