Just Another Night...

Just got back from the Casino with Mama Wang… I’m guessing she’s one of few mom’s that peer pressures her son (me) into a guilt trip to the boat. I always give him, especially if she’s paying (which is always).

FACT: If you go to the riverboat casino. 70% of the people there are Asian. Tonight, I realized this as I looked around the craps table and saw 10 yellow slanty eyed faces from young to old and I chuckled to myself. I was proud to be an Asian.

A typical Wang “family outing” will be a trip to the boat, “as a family.” I went to the boat on Thanksgiving and Christmas this year… so while you were eating a big family dinner, I was throwing dice at the Craps table.

This is one stereotype that holds true…. So what else to Asians like? I made a list for this blog, but I think I'm gonna make this a multi part topic so stay tuned....

Funny Story from tonight’s trip…

Tonight at the Craps table, it was this black girl’s turn to roll the dice. She rolled a winner, and an Asian dude next to her says “damn girl, you look like you’ve rolled dice before. You’re like a professional.”

I started to laugh because this guy just busted out a racial stereotype on this black chick by assuming she’s played dice in some dark alley with her homies. That’s what you get for playing at an all Asian table….

Lookalike v2

Who says all black people don't look alike?

Cleveland from "The Cleveland Show" (which sucks) and Reverend Jesse Jackson

Bad Judgment

The one bright spot of Chicago Sports took a hit earlier this week as Blackhawks star's Patrick Kane, Kris Versteeg, and John Madden were victims of bad judgement... very bad. These pics were taken after their game in Vancouver, Canada.

I don't mean bad judgement of taking these pics... these pics are awesome and hilarious. These guys are professional athletes that make millions of dollars, so who cares if they're having fun?? The media has been all over these guys for these pics, but I don't blame them. Do you?

I'd also like to note that the man flexing is John Madden... he's like 38 years old and married which makes this even more hilarious. Nice guns bro!

What bothers me about these pics are the quality of chicks they are entertaining in their limo. Cmooooooon guys, you guys are makin' it rain, rollin in a limo, unlimited booze, and these hyenas are the best you could do?! Patrick Kane is a young 21 year old stud, just look at that boyishly handsome face and golden locks. Oh, did I mention he's one of the best young stars in the NHL? That should mean he should be pulling hot ass... like boy band ass. Not this shit... but then again this is Chicago Sports and they are full of letdowns.

Well boys.... I question your choices and your standards, or lack there of... but NOBODY can top this guy's bad judgment....

Steve Phillips, former ESPN analyst and former Met's GM was fired and divorced his wife after an affair with this chick... yes, that is a chick. Now that's what I call beer goggles!

My Talent

Everybody has a special talent in life… some people are really good at golf, some people are really good at video games, or maybe some people are just really good at drinking beer (my friend Dane). I have a special talent… and it is the extraordinary gift of being able to eat endless amounts of ice cream. Yes, no joke… I believe I can eat more ice cream than anyone else.

As my former room mates can attest, I always have ice cream on hand and it was not uncommon for me to just swing by the Baskins Robbins on Green St. in between classes. Is that weird?

Well the reason I am writing about this now is because lately I’ve rediscovered this talent as I have gone through 2 tubs of ice cream in a matter of a few days. I don’t even realize it, but a bowl here, maybe just a few scoops there, sometimes just straight out of the carton, and boom… it’s gone.

This is quite the special talent to have and I am damn proud of it. You can beat me at basketball? Well asshole, how about an ice cream eating contest?! No contest.

My favorite ice cream is Mint Chocolate Chip FROM BASKIN ROBBINS, not that shitty stuff you get in the store. Otherwise, I prefer Breyer’s Cookies and Cream. If I had one wish, it would be to make ice cream the healthiest food on earth. Unfortunately, it’s not.

I have recently (Christmas time) thrown up form eating peppermint ice cream due to the binge of rumplemintz shots from the night before, so that is now officially on my shit list. No more peppermint ice cream, good thing it’s only a seasonal thing.

In fact, I’m eating a bowl of ice cream as I write this…

Real Life or Movie?

For all you non sports fan out there, aka chicks or not cool dudes, Gilbert Arenas of the Washington Wizard’s was suspended earlier this year for a locker room altercation with his team mate Javaris Crittenton. In this confrontation, which happened in the Wizard’s locker room, both parties pulled guns on each other and Arenas’ was reported to having “several guns.”

Athletes often get into trouble over gun problems, such as when Plaxico Buress shot himself in the leg (dumbshit) or when Delonte West was caught with a guitar case full of loaded shotguns and sub machine guns. Does nobody think that is weird?

You guys are professional athletes with millions of dollars, so why the hell would you guys need to carry weapons?! In West’s case… why would you carry a guitar case full? Do you think you are Desperado?! No, that was Antonio Banderas and that was A MOVIE…. Dumbass.

So that brings us back to the most recent pro athlete run in with the law… Arenas and Crittenton. I saw on Sportscenter yesterday that Wizard’s guard Javaris Crittenton pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor gun charge Monday, explaining he had a pistol because he feared teammate Gilbert Arenas would shoot him or blow up his car after the two argued over a card game.

I had to rewind my DVR to believe what I heard… you thought Gilbert Arenas (former NBA MVP) was gonna do what? Blow up your car? Umm… last time I checked, that only happens in mafia movies and rarely to NBA players that don’t even get playing time.

Seriously bro, you feared that he was gonna blow up your car. You are an idiot and deserve to get kicked out of the NBA.

Spread

I'm Gonna take a page out of Vanessa’s Blog book….

I just watched the movie Spread starring Ashton Kutcher as a Los Angeles socialite/conman that sleeps his way to a life of privilege. He's a user of women simply so he can have a place to stay, and a sick pad to seduce his next conquest when the current flame goes out of town. He’s the epitome of an LA dousche bag as some would describe, but others would call him just a dude that lives a lifestyle that most men would envy.

As one review said… “Spread is an iconic look at the lure of sex, money, and access that Hollywood offers to the beautiful people, and the karmic price that Nikki (Kutcher) must ultimately pay to live that lifestyle.”

I’m not a big fan of Ashton Kutcher, but he plays a unique role that I rarely see him in. Surprisingly, he does a great job… some say this movie was slightly based on Kutcher’s own life but that is unconfirmed.

Ashton Kutcher said about the film, “I think it’s a tale about a guy whose choosing between love and lifestyle. I think that at some point in time, in all of our lives, we often make choices like that…”

I’m not crazy about the ending of this movie, but that might explain the unflattering 22% rating it got on Rotten Tomatoes (as Dlee pointed out to me), but nonetheless I think this movie is worth seeing.

If this description isn’t doing it for you… then Margarita Levieva should. She is an up and coming star…. And you see her boobs in Spread… many times. This girl is unbelievably hot and super sexy. She needs a Maxim spread asap.

Oh and for you chicks, you see Ashton Kutcher’s ass far too many times for my liking so there’s your reason for you. And for you lesbians, Anne Heche plays a brilliant role in the movie and is surprisingly hot… I questioned it myself but apparently Ellen Degeneres has good… check that… great taste.

Invictus

I just watched Invictus with Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon. I’m not gonna go into too much detail, Vanessa does a great job here, but I’m not gonna lie… I thought this movie was mediocre and not great. Don’t get me wrong; it’s an incredible true story that united an entire nation and Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela was awesome. I like seeing black ppl hugging white ppl as much as the next, so that’s not the reason either.

I thought the movie was slow and boring most of the time, and maybe it’s because I don’t know/like rugby, I was pretty lost during the matches. It made Rugby look like such a boring sport filled with grunting dudes playing a rousing game of grab ass. Is this a movie about Rugby or a softcore porn? I’ve seen movies about high school football that make it look more intriguing.

Also, other than winning the championship match, what’s with the lack of emotion/celebration after all of South Africa’s upsets. The Matt Damon led squad was an underdog throughout the entire tournament, yet after each upset the team would just casually run off the field high fiving each other and the fans watching on TV would barely even get out of their seats. If that was the US, the team would be going crazy and the fans would be jumping up and down screaming. For example, last year’s playoffs between the Bulls and Celtics… my friends and I were hugging and chest bumping after every play. Totally unrealistic Clint (Eastwood, the director).

So this brings me to my point. I feel like often times, we as viewers get caught up in the hype of a movie and feel the need to agree with the critics. Just because a movie says “Oscar nominated” doesn’t mean it will be worth my time. In fact, I’ve come to realize that “Oscar Nominated” means “Boring as shit” to me, but to wach his own I guess.

Invictus got high praise from the so called “experts.” As a result, I feel like many ppl told me that this movie was “awesome” and “fucking sweet.” Well that was most certainly not the case, so next time just because a movie is considered to be Oscar worthy, that may not always be the case.

Misprint

The Colts and the Saints are going to the Super Bowl. No surprise, but I was slightly rooting for Brett Favre… otherwise known as Football Jesus.

As they were crowned AFC and NFC champions, I couldn’t help but think… what happens to all those AFC and NFC champ tshirts and hats for the losing teams? As soon as the game ended, the Colts were hoisting the trophy while donning Colts AFC Champion shirts and hats. Same for the Saints.

Pending the outcome of the game, there must be printed items for both teams. This means that there are boxes full of merchandise with the LOSERS on them, so where do these go? Given to the homeless? Sold for a discount? Donated to Haiti? Where?!?!

I’ve never seen shirts for the losing team at the thrift store… so the only logical thing would be donated to Haiti. That would be shameful if they were just thrown when all those people over there are poor and in need. Cheer them up and donate a NY Jets AFC Champions Tshirt… they most likely wouldn’t even know who the NY Jets were let alone gave a shit if they won or not.

Natural Disaster in your country? Here ya go, here’s a misprinted Vikings tshirt. Good luck!

Stop Talking to Me

Today I went to the dentist. Unlike most people, I’m not afraid of the dentist. Sure, it sucks at times so I just want her to do her shit as fast as she can so I can leave with pearly whites. Nothing bothers me more than when my dentist tries to make small talk with me while she drilling in my mouth. She asks me all sorts of questions like “what was your major in school?” or “what are your plans for the weekend?” I always wonder to myself, is she serious?! I want to tell her to shut the fuck up. These are not simple yes or no answers, so I wonder how the hell she expects me answer these questions with a fucking drill in my mouth. To avoid awkwardness, sometimes I attempt to answer only to get muffled sounds out before I just flat out give up. Stupid dentist. I now hate you.

Same goes for the barber. Sure, I’ll make small talk as she gives me a trim, but I want to slap the barber when she tries to talk to me while she’s shaping my sideburns or around the edges. I’m always so nervous that if I speak, then I might move my head and cause her to fuck up. Why would she ask me so many questions at such a crucial time?! One slip up and I’ll look like an asshole. This is usual a moment of serious awkwardness… as she asks me a question and I just stare at her in the mirror as she trims the back of my head. I hope hse doesn’t take this personal, I just don’t want to look like a freak.

Anybody else hate this too?

Lookalike

I'm laying here in bed flipping back a forth between sportscenter and south park and noticed an uncanny resemblance....

John Clayton, ESPN analyst, and Mr. Mackey from South Park

High Expectations

Everybody imagines a fairy tale story for when you propose. Apparently this is a trend that is catching on in college football as well.

If you don’t know the story already, after the Boise St. Broncos upset Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl, Boise St. running back Ian Johnson completed the true fairy tale story. He scored the winning touchdown and ran straight to his cheerleader girlfriend and got on one knee. She said yes and it was a true fairy tale ending as Boise St. was the “Cinderella” of the bowl season.

Colt McCoy wanted to take a page from Ian Johnson’s book. It was all set up. He was in the National Championship game, and he had dreamed of proposing to his (incredibly hot) girlfriend after an improbable upset over Alabama. The only thing wrong with Colt’s plan? He got his shit stuffed on the 5^th play of the game, and his team lost. Colt was probably too salty to propose after he just watched the other team lift the trophy and with one arm in a sling. Time for plan B.

So yesterday, Colt McCoy brought his incredibly hot girlfriend to midfield at Darrell K. Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium and got on one knee on the center of the longhorn logo. The words “Will you marry me” was on the stadium’s giant high definition scoreboard. She said yes… you lucky bastard.

This got me thinking… These are such corny proposals that probably give girls goosebumps. These set the bar pretty high, so how are us ordinary guys supposed to top these?

What am I supposed to do… hide a ring inside of an egg roll??

Thanks a lot Colt!

Gym Culture v3

One of my favorite places to think of blog topics is while I’m at the gym. As Rudy aptly said onVicariously Rudy, there’s no better time to think than running. Well I would agree, but since I hate to run, I prefer to do my thinking while surrounded by freaks at the gym... and trust me there are TONS of freaks. Today was no different.

If you’re anything like me, when you’re benching and need a spot (to make sure you don’t die), then it takes you awhile to finally ask somebody. I usually sit there and look around, let people walk by, and am usually too timid to ask. I hate asking somebody to spot me, it’s so much pressure. What if they think you’re a pussy? What if they say no? Eventually when I do, I form a bond with this person. Often times when I need another spotter, the same guy will ask if I need help. I’m sure many of you have experienced this camaraderie before.

Today this big meathead was benching and asked me if I could give him a spot. I feared that if I said no, he was gonna eat me so I agreed. He was only doing 295 lbs, no big deal… ha yea right. I hovered over him and thought to myself if I could even help this guy if he dropped the bar, so I just prayed that he didn’t. I gave him a lift off and grunted so loud, it drew the attention of the entire gym. I looked around and shrugged my shoulders as to say “whoa, I don’t even know this guy.” He did 8 reps and thanked me for my help.

I carried on with my workout and fully expected the meathead to ask me to spot him again. No big deal, we had that bond now.

Only the next time around, he had another person spotting him! I know this is a bunch of dudes at the gym, but this meathead broke gym etiquette! I felt betrayed. I felt inadequate. I felt like I was cheated on. I had to laugh at this because this is a small bond that dudes form at the gym, and I was dumped. Think about this next time you need a spotter.

I'm back!

It’s been 62 days since my last post, and through those 62 days there have been memorable events that we have all experienced… Christmas, a brand new year, Tiger Woods sex scandal, a Jonas bro getting married, the Earthquake in Haiti, and most importantly… Jersey Shore.

So many things to say, so much wasted time. I apologize for the extended hiatus, but the wait is over… Wang’s World is back.

Check back for updates.